So following the overwhelming success of our Lawlor Cat Hotel in Great Warley, Brentwood, I have decided as Front of House that it’s time to expand and let all cats around the world holiday/board in the surroundings they deserve - you now have the chance to be part of our story and open your own Lawlor Cat Hotel. Excited? You should be! This is your chance to be part of the revolution that we have started which changes the way cats holiday/board. You will need the following skills to get past the preliminary interview – we are very very fussy:
1) You need to love cats. I mean really love them. You need to be cat mad. You need to genuinely love and adore cats. You need to be the sort of human who no matter how many cats you meet you still can’t wait to meet the next one. You need to be a cat bore. You need to have lost friends, relationships and dinner party invites because you won’t stop banging on about cats. And I tell you why. This is the one skill our franchise cannot teach you. You are either a cat lover or you are not and both the guests and their humans can tell the difference - the whole success of your business totally relies on you being a genuine cat lover. Cats are very clever with very strong senses. If you are in any way faking it your guests will know and that means they won’t enjoy their stay and that means their humans will know (remember they are as cat mad as you need to be) as their once happy cat will return miserable… Their humans will never use you again and they will tell all of their friends and your business will fail. You get my drift but I really can’t stress enough how hugely important this is!
2) You need to be organised and good at following procedures and routines. The hotel cannot run smoothly if you’re not. Do not think being your own boss means you can spend hours in the pub, spend days out shopping or doing stuff with the kids. The cats have to be your priority at all times. 365 days a year. Our training is outstanding but you will need basic skills such as being computer literate and have good written English. Don’t worry about maths as the computer does all that for you. The CCTV is a doddle to set up and use, and your customers will just love this unique aspect of the hotel being able to watch their cats 24/7.
3) You need the right premises. You don’t have to have a huge gaff like Warley Place but we will only take applications from the right premises. It can even be your own home. We are not a cattery. We are a cat hotel so human size rooms are a must and for that you need decent premises.
4) If you are slightly OCD that would be good as well - maintaining high standards at your hotel with maintenance and so on is essential.
5) You need to be good with other Humans offering them the best customer service they have ever received.
6) You need to be determined and ambitious.
7) You need passion. Do not do this if you are simply looking for a way out of the rat race – you have to be passionate about it or it will show and your business will not work.
8) You need to be patient. Some of the cats are quite shy to begin with and need your help to settle in. You will need to invest time to bond with each and every cat to make sure they settle properly.
9) You need to be flexible. Humans run late, change their minds etc and you need to adapt easily to unplanned changes.
10) You need £15,000 to invest. Does that sound a lot? I guess it does… but considering Jane spent double that on the right website, marketing, branding, research, and you are buying into a thriving brand, it’s actually a bit of a bargain!
What you get in return:
1) The best job in the world. Seriously, I mean it. This is a life changing decision and one you won’t regret so long as you are the real deal and love cats.
2) A turn key business solution using modern technology to create the perfect business model for running your hotel. You won’t be spending hours doing admin as our system does it for you.
3) A proven business model that works to benefit both the cats and the humans.
4) Your own page on our fantastic website. It’s brilliant, isn’t it?
5) Your hotel linked on social media.
6) Training. You get to come to our Head Office in Brentwood and spend 2-3 days full time with the lovely Kim who will train you on everything to our very high standards.
7) Full on-going support.
8) Your own geographical space meaning no other Lawlor Cat Hotel can be within a 25 mile radius.
9) Financial reward – You can expect to take £5000 per month with 8 suites.
10) And you get me. Archie Lawlor. Always ready to cat chat and help you make your dreams come true! Email me on Archie.email@example.com with any questions you may have.